On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
