Welp...herpes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
