It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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