So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
