hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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