Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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