I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
