I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
