Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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