dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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