fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
