just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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