I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
