I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
