just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She bit a glass in half.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
