You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
