I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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