the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
