At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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