you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
