i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
