Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
