I can tuck mytits in my pants
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
