First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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