I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
