Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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