I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
