Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Everyone says I win the strip club
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
