I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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