That's intense
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
