he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
