why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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