i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
