I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
