I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
