So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
