belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
