Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
