I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
