Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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