I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
