on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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