I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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