finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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