Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?