Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover