you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i think i just lost a toe
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.