Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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