You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
