you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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