Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize