what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
