GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
