hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
