i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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