some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
