"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Randomize
