It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
