So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
