Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We had sex on a dog bed..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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