Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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