she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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