Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i think i have herpe
just one?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
