i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
