Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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